Time-Poor Dad’s Guide to Cleaning: 6 Hacks That Feel Like Cheating

I don’t have time for deep-cleaning marathons. But I do have time for cleaning shortcuts that feel borderline illegal. You know, the kind that makes it look like you put in effort when really, you barely lifted a finger.

Here are seven sneaky cleaning hacks that will save you time, effort, and possibly your marriage.

1. The Dishwasher Trick (Yes, More Than Just Dishes)

Your dishwasher is basically a high-powered cleaning machine that no one uses to its full potential. Aside from dishes, it can clean:

• Plastic toys (because kids are gross and never wash their hands)

• Toothbrush holders (ever looked inside one? Don’t. Just chuck it in the dishwasher)

• Stove knobs (because somehow, they’re always sticky?)

• Fridge shelves (so you don’t have to scrub crusty mystery spills)

Run it on a gentle cycle, and boom – clean stuff, very little effort. Except for having to put everything back.

2. The "Shower-Cleans-Itself" Hack

Ever been accused of taking long showers? Good. Now, make those 10 minutes count.

Before hopping in:

• Spray the walls and floor with a no-scrub shower cleaner.

• Let the steam from your shower do the hard work.

• After your shower, wipe down surfaces with a microfiber cloth.

This hack is literally the only reason our shower gets cleaned. It’s no fuss, no effort, and I have to be in the shower anyway – might as well be productive. Genius.

3. The Magic Pillowcase Fan Blade Trick

Ceiling fans: the silent dust collectors of the house. My old method was to just … wipe the dusty edges of the blades with my fingers and hope the dust landed somewhere I could vacuum it.

… it did not.

Then I learned The Solution. Grab an old pillowcase, slide it over each blade, and pull it off. The dust stays inside the pillowcase – no mess, no sneezing fit. Shake it outside, toss it in the wash, and you’re done.

4. The "Lazy Dad's Baseboard Cleaning" Hack

Baseboard, skirting board, whatever you want to call it – that bit of wood at the base of your walls that you’ve probably kicked taking a corner too fast at least once. If you’ve ever gotten down on your hands and knees to scrub them, I salute you. But also – there’s a better way.

• Put an old sock on.

• Spray it with a mix of water and fabric softener.

• Run your foot along the baseboards while walking around the house.

It repels dust and makes the house smell like fresh laundry. You can even convince your kids it’s a game and get them to do it for you. Parenting level: expert.

5. The Blender Cleans Itself Trick

Nobody wants to scrub a blender after making a smoothie (or, let’s be real, a post-bedtime margarita). Instead:

• Fill it halfway with warm water

• Add a drop of dish soap

• Blend for 20 seconds

• Rinse

Boom – clean blender, no dangerous wrestling with the blades.

6. The Sock Mop (a.k.a. Cleaning While Doing Nothing)

Got hardwood or tile floors? Grab an old pair of fluffy socks and wear them around the house.

• Walking around = polishing the floor.

• If you spill something? Just "accidentally" step in it and do a quick shuffle dance.

• Want to really clean? Spray a bit of floor cleaner on the socks first.

Who needs a mop when you have feet?

7. The "Pretend You Deep-Cleaned" Trick

And now for a tip which might actually be illegal as far as your spouse is concerned. If you’re running out of time and need to make the house look clean fast, hit these three high-impact areas:

• Wipe down kitchen counters: Instantly makes the space look fresh.

• Fluff the couch cushions: Makes it seem like you actually vacuumed.

• Close all doors to messy rooms: Because if they can’t see it, it’s not your problem.

This hack is especially useful when you get that "we’ll be there in 10 minutes!" text from surprise visitors.

Obviously keep in mind you haven’t actually cleaned and will still need to do it later, but y’know, it gets the job done for an hour or two of entertaining.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Listen, cleaning doesn’t have to be a full-time job – especially when you’re already busy working, parenting, and, let’s be honest, trying to get five minutes of peace. These "illegal" cleaning hacks let you keep the house from looking like a disaster zone without spending hours scrubbing.

So, next time your partner asks, "Can you help with the cleaning?" just nod and pull out one of these tricks. You’ll look like a domestic god without breaking a sweat.